Christmas drabble

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."
**************************************************************************
POV change
**************************************************************************
Sarutobi Nattsu sat in the boughs of an old elm tree, idly rubbing his hands together as he stared unblinkingly at the target house. The target's physical description ran through his mind almost mockingly, taunting him with the ludicrous nature of his latest assignment. Target: Kris Kringle, alias Santa Claus. 5'9, obese, with a ruddy face and straggly white beard. Usually seen in wearing a red jacket and pants with white fur trim. Never seen without his pipe, apparently quite attached to it. His mode of transport: get this, a sleigh. Pulled by reindeer. Nattsu scratched his head in frustration. He never got the simple targets. He always ended up with the crappy assignments, hunting down fruitcakes like this. Nattsu's eyes snapped upwards, his attention drawn by a strange sound from overhead.

"bells?" Nattsu thought to himself. "Why on earth do I hear-" His mouth dropped open in numb horror as, overhead, came his target. 50 meters above where he expected to find him, apparently floating in midair.

Flying reindeer. Now he'd seen everything. Swearing under his breath, Nattsu slinked down the tree, careful to remain out of view. As he crept up towards the house, he kept his eye on the target, who had landed on the roof. Why, he was not sure. Nattsu was, regardless of the now seemingly FUBAR nature of his mission docs, going to proceed with his mission. Focusing once more on the roof, Nattsu's jaw went slack as he realized he had lost sight of his target. Several seconds passed, as Nattsu stood, rooted to the ground mere feet from the house, his mind kicking into overdrive. There was no way the target could have slipped off the roof without the alert shinboi becoming aware of it, and there was no room for someone that big to hide in that sleigh. He was almost tempted to say that the fat old man had slipped down the chimney, but dismissed it as he recalled the man's girth. Jut then, however, a wide silhouette waddled past, in the window. Scowling, Nattsu leapt up to the roof, careful to avoid startling the reindeer, and filing the man's disappearance under the "crap I don't need to know" category. Nattsu crept quietly to the side of the sleigh, pulling himself in and hiding himself under an enormous, lumpy sack of some kind. Perfect.

Just in time, too, as he discovered. As he pulled the last few inches of his leg into the sleigh, he heard a pair of feet hit the roof with a heavy thud. His mysterious target had made his reappearance, it seemed. The man pulled his way into the sled with a grunt of effort, and settled himself into the driver's seat with a relaxed sigh. Just as Nattsu prepared himself to leave his cover, however, he received a nasty surprise when, quite suddenly the old drunk belted out "Merry Chrishm'sh to all, and to all a good night!...hic!"

Just great. This would make his mission even more fun. Nattsu pulled himself quietly from cover, unsheathing his blade as he did so. He noted, with a bit of dismay, that they were now a good hundred feet in the air, and moving quite fast. Sick of this mission already, Nattsu decided he didn't care. This mission was coming to an end, regardless. Nattsu crept to the front of the sleigh, his blade held tightly in his hand, ignoring the biting air. In a flash, Nattsu held the wickedly sharp blade under the man's chin, causing a gasp of surprise.

Nattsu leaned in, a devilish smirk on his face. He was going to enjoy this.

"Message for you. Your old pal Jack says... Merry christmas."

With that, Nattsu dropped the blade into Santa's lap, and dove off the sleigh into the snowy maelstrom below.

Mission accomplished.

...What just happened?

This is what happens when Allison spikes my eggnog with jack daniels...

*shrug* I've no clue.

...Allison?

My sister-in-law, if you must know. She seems to think getting me wasted is amusing. Two missing days of sleep, plus caffeine pills, multiplied by a large quantity of alcohol equals this abomination. Not even I know what the hell I was thinking. So let's leave this piece of trash to rot in the dark abyss of literary hell as it so richly deserves.

I kinda like it.

*shrug* It's... odd, but strangely intriguing. It's not that bad, Nattsu. It's actually pretty good writing..

Once you get past the direct retyping of 'Twas the Night Before Christmas... *chuckle*